My #badassHERstory has been difficult to come to terms with. Let me start by saying: I AM FUCKING ANGRY.
My first inclination was to try to move away from religion for this project. I feel like a scratched record that is skipping at full volume. (With the added frustration that nobody can hear me and even if they can, they don't want to listen. Some are sick of listening.)
Why can't I just let it all go?
Well, it seems there are many reasons I shouldn't let it go.
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According to Pew, way back in 2008 (I think?... I'm too tired to look up the date and a link right now), about 1/3 of Americans believed the bible was "the literal word of God". If the bible is literal, that means, many Americans believe in talking, burning bushes. Like, that was real. Like, it wasn't a metaphor. Nothing in the bible is a metaphor, it is real. And guess what? These are the people who elected our current pussy-grabbing president. (These are ALSO THE SAME PEOPLE who think it is okay to rip kids away from their parents at the border. To prove this point, Sarah Sanders just defended this brutality by stating, "It is very biblical to uphold the law.") All of this shit is okay with them for different reasons, but here are two major things fundamentalist christians believe:
1.) Women in the bible exist only as the property of men to reproduce and serve them. (Evangelicals will argue this is perfectly okay because men are supposed to be nice to women. [Kind of like a pet or some damn thing.] And as men are the head of the woman, God is the head of the man. The destruction or any deviation of this hierarchy is dangerous, they believe, and is ruining American society. They believe God will/is collectively punishing America for whatever actions they have defined as individual sin. They must stop other people from doing things they believe are sinful in order to save America from the wrath of God.)
2.) God's law is above any law written by man. When this is your world view, you are emboldened to break man's laws because you are doing it for the higher calling of Biblical teachings. See? (Think Mike Pence, Jeff Sessions, etc.)
I grew up in this culture and have studied this culture for years. I have made art about literal scripture for years, even sparking (a professor once told me) "very heated" debates in her classroom at Evergreen State College because some people were offended by my the combining of sexist contemporary imagery with biblical text.
But to me, these texts and images are one and the same. In fact, I would argue, the images may not exist if the text did not exist first.
So after looking at the prompts from Shannon Doughty's website Badassherstory, I began to retrace my steps.
I grew up with people who believe in the literal interpretation of the bible. It has taken me a lifetime to unroll myself from it.
I have had religion used against me at every turn while trying to grow up. I have been told menstruation is a curse from God. Women are the downfall of man. Masturbation causes homosexuality. Women are to be wives and mothers. Women are the weaker "vessel". If you wear the wrong clothing and get harassed or raped, well, too damn bad, you had it coming.
(Below are a few passages from a book (c. 1976) I was given when I was around 10. BEWARE: Similar ideas are propagated TODAY in public education through "abstinence-only" sex education programs and speakers. Watch for it coming to a school near you. No, seriously. WATCH FOR IT.)
I don't feel like being kind. I don't feel like being polite. I don't feel like being cute. I don't feel like affirmations and positive sayings are going to cut it at this point.
I will not let it go because THIS IS MY STORY. And it is an important one. People need to understand the danger of fundamentalist christianity - people who believe this shit now hold the highest positions of power in the executive branch of the United States government.
As ex-evangelical and professor Christopher Stroop writes:
"...things that are “normal” for evangelicals can often be shocking to those who do not know much about the subculture we come from.
I think it’s important for liberal Americans who do not come from a patriarchal religious background to hear our stories and to sit with that shock. Why? Because I remain convinced that if American civil society and the American press fail to come to grips with just how radically theocratic the Christian Right is, any kind of post-Trump soft landing scenario in which American democracy recovers a healthy degree of functionality is highly unlikely.
To put it another way, you may not come from Jesus Land, USA, but Jesus Land is coming for you."
That being said, there are many girls and women just like me all over this country. Shamed, belittled, blamed by people who use biblical scripture as their weapon. They need to know they are not alone. They need to know they can reject the misogyny they have been taught. What they have been taught is not the truth. (From Jack Hollands's Misogyny The World's Oldest Prejudice)
This is MY story, and MY family history. I am not alone. You are not alone. Our stories are important. Let's let people hear them.